Hi again and welcome back to the My Story blog.
Last time I wrote I told you all a little of my story so far and why I am committed to writing special stories for kids who need help finding their own voice with which to share their own joy.
Since that last blog, nothing has changed but everything has changed at the same time. I am still committed to raising awareness for amazing and beautiful kids who need help to share their story and help others understand them better. That part has not changed.
I am still the mother of a son with Autism. That has not changed. What has changed though is that not only am I the mother of one son living on the Autism Spectrum, I am now officially the mother of two sons living on the spectrum.
My beautiful son H has now been diagnosed as joining his brother on the Autism Spectrum so I find myself back in a place of uncertainty about where my journey will take me next and more importantly where it will take my boys.
What does this mean for my family? What do we do next and will we be ok? All questions with no answers at this stage.
The diagnosis was made yesterday and I was numb upon hearing the words again. It is different this time around though. There is not the same devastation as when I heard those words for Jackson, as this time I have some experience with Autism and I am very much aware of the lifelong possibility and no longer see it as a lifelong disability. That said, I am still wondering how I will find the strength to stand up and fight for both sons, advocate for both sons and stop the constant worrying about both sons. In honesty I was feeling exhausted with the overwhelming task of all this for one son. How will I do it for two?
I will heed the advice of those who have travelled this path before me and those who have counselled me along the way so far. I will take it one day at a time. I will concentrate on what can be done now. I will limit the amount of time each day I dwell upon what will our lives look like in twenty years, ten years or even five years? The truth is no one knows what their life will look like in five days time, let alone five decades time as you simply never know what is around the corner. Anything can happen. I will put one foot in front of the other and continue to be my boys’ biggest cheerleader and take on the responsibility with gusto and pride.
I will continue to find passion and joy in my work and continue to tell these stories for these kids. Do not think for a minute though that this work I do is selfless. In fact it’s very selfish. The feeling I get when I hear someone comment that they feel as though they understand one of the kids better after reading a My Story book is indescribable. I am lifted up beyond words to know that a child is being seen for who he or she is rather than what they are or are not. When a Mum says thank you for finding the essence of their child’s personality and their strengths and sharing it for others to enjoy is the best feeling in the world.... Well actually it might be the second best feeling in the world. The best would definitely have to be cuddles from my brilliant, brave and beautiful boys. I am a very lucky Mummy. I get many many cuddles AND I get to do work I am truly passionate about.
I will be sharing more of my personal and professional journey with you over the coming months so I hope you enjoy the ride.